The New Normal

The gym, the gym, the gym! We've been going to the gym faithfully 5 times a week since January. Prior to that we were going at least a couple of times a week, 3 or 4 or more. I used to hate it but you get used to it to the point where I don't know what to do with myself if I don't go. You see all the same people there, get into a routine, watch the same shows on the TV while on the bike. I like Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld, but we're usually there earlier and I get stuck watching Friends. Right now I do the treadmill for 1/2 hour, then the bike for at least 15 minutes (ideally I do 1/2 hour on that if I have time) then do  some weights. Lately I've been bringing headphones and listening to music while on the treadmill, the music puts a spring in my step and makes me work harder.

I find that I have to continue to challenge myself physically or else it doesn't do me any good. On the flipside I can't challenge myself too much or else my heart rate will go up and I'm terrified of my ICD firing because of it. It's a balancing act. It would be nice if I could lose some weight with all this excersizing I'm doing but I'm not losing much, about 10 pounds (in 6 months, OMG give me a break, please) and I'm up and down with 2 pounds of it. It's the medication I'm on, it slows the heart rate and metabolism. I can't win. Not yet, I keep hoping.

Pizza Monday.

We go to Planet Fitness. They have Pizza Monday the first Monday of the month. I'll have a slice or two, won't eat the crusts and I stash those in my pocket & bring them home for the babies. The fur babies. Hubby will eat a few pieces of pizza, he loves it and tries to sneak some out for later. I think of it as a day off from cooking.

And the eating, no salt, I try to avoid saturated fat, sugars. I gave up sweets in favor of Vitatops 100 calorie muffin tops, Dole dark chocolate covered fruit, some low sugar yougurts, sugar free pudding, there are a lot of not so bad for you options if you look. I also gave up coffee,  somewhat. I totally gave up Dunkin Donuts coffee, it's too acidy. I do have 1 or 2 Starbucks Frappachinos or Honey Dew Mocha Madness frozen a week, I get a medium, drink 1/2 and save the rest for another day. Sometimes I drink 1/2 and cut the leftovers with almond milk. Yup, I gave up milk, too.

I also had to go on Victoza because before giving up all this sugar shit, my sugar levels were beginning to rise. If I could lose some of this dammed weight they'd probably lower themselves.

I gave up pork. I read some things, saw some photos of pigs and they struck me as being like dogs and I can't eat any animal that's like a pet. I'm better off without it and I really don't miss it. (it wasn't easy though over the Easter holiday and while visiting my in-laws, they put pork in everything, but I did it).

Chips and fast food are not really a problem for me. I'm still loving Triscuits. I now eat the ones with a hint of salt. I'd rather have triscuits than chips. Low salt kettle corn is good, too-as long as I don't eat the whole bag. Fast food, well, it's good when I don't want to cook. I try to get salad instead of burgers and shit. Notice I wrote "try", it's cause I don't always go for the salad, I screw up sometimes.

Trying to give up soda completely. I really don't drink much but one is too much. Hubby was bringing home these little cans of ginger ale from his work which go great with dinner but even though they're small they pack a lot of sugar. He's been bringing them home less often now since I said stop.

We also have quinoa (love it, have to stop myself from eating a mountain of it) and soup, meatless Mondays where I make rice and beans or something not involving meat.

It's all about making choices, healthy ones. I try to. I have to. And today I screwed up royally with the Pizza Monday. Oh well, I'll be on the ball for the rest of the week and longer. I've set some weight goals and keep them in mind when eating and excersizing.

2014/2015

It's been a long hiatus. Yes, I'm going to try to check in here more often. If not for perfume reviews, I will be checking in with my current things, interests, happenings. Partly because my memory is no longer so great. OMG, I hate it. Ask me what I did last month and I really can't pinpoint anything special. I don't really do anything that special but my life is special to me and I don't like forgetting things and having trouble remembering events, but I figure if I write them down and review them it'll get better.  Plus writing in general.You know, like keeping the mind sharp.  Right now I feel like I can't write for shit.

I have a team of doctors: Cardiologist, EP & PCP*

So what's been going on for the past year? Not a whole lot. Last year I attended and graduated from Cardiac Rehab. It was a great place with wonderful people (instructors and other patients) and I left feeling much stronger than before. I still feel stronger that I did when I had my cardiac arrest, but I'm not like I was prior. I think what I've got now is the new normal and it's frustrating. I get so tired easily, all the time. I was out of work most of the year (there are not a lot of shifts available) and when I did work I'd need the next day to recuperate. I went back again yesterday and it was difficult. It was a 12 hour day (I had no choice, there are not many shifts, and we'll probably close for good in the near future) and just working was very tiring for me. My days consist of sleeping late and naps, or laying down for a rest. (plus the gym, more on that later). I cannot take naps or rest at work. I really don't know how I'll be able to work like this at my regular job or a new one. I don't know how I could be on my feet for 8 hours and/or running around a store. Or how well my mind can adapt to all the new things (and remember them) that co-enside with learning a new job. I've been thinking of applying for a disability. I kind of don't want to do that, it strikes me as "giving up". But I don't know how I can be gainfully employed the way I feel. Like gainfully employed as being able to pay bills. I'm running out of things to sell on ebay. I'm in stage 2 congestive heart failure and have an ICD/pacemaker, if that doesn't qualify for a disability, I don't know what does. Part of me doesn't want to give up working, the other part tells me maybe I should enjoy the remainder of my life, be it 5, 10 or 30 more years I have no idea.

In other physical news, I had my period for 7 months. It began in October 2014 and continued up until last week. I got a couple of days off a month, and a many days were just spotting, but there were some rough ones in-between. I went to the gyn and he said I have an ovarian cyst and fibroids. They don't want to put me on hormones or surgery yet because of my heart. They're hoping it will fix itself at some point. My blood counts say I'm not in menopause.

 How about something on the lighter side? We got a new addition to the family, Chico. We lost our beloved Winnie around this time last year. Felicia was heartbroken so we had to get her a partner right away.

When he was still a pup, he's over a year now & bigger than her.

They said he was neutered but he's got quite a sex drive for a fixed dog.

I love my Chico but he drives me crazy at times. He only weighs about 25lbs but it's all muscle and he pushes me and Felicia around. If he wants your attention, he's getting it. I have trouble sitting at the computer, or watching TV, he'll paw at me for attention. I can't handle him on the leash, he's wild and pulls and jumps. I'm really wondering if he was fixed or now. We got him at 2 months, no signs of surgery on his lower area (although I didn't really look thoroughly) but he's aggressive and is always after Felicia I'm wondering about the status of his balls or whatever. I do not see any balls on him, but when he gets going on trying to hump Felicia his lipstick will come out of it's tube and all. He doesn't seem to penetrate her. I don't know. He also chews up everything he can get at, many sneakers over the past year, socks, my reading glasses, pens, and of course a couple of perfume vials. Yes, he's got busy bones, nylabones, plush toys, rubber toys a whole shitload of toys.

* I also have a Gyn and a pulmonologist who I avoid like the plague. He and my PCP are trying to make me use a sleep apnea machine which I don't want to do. I really rather not go to bed with a mask on my face. I have enough trouble sleeping do not want to add equiptment to the mix.