The New Normal

The gym, the gym, the gym! We've been going to the gym faithfully 5 times a week since January. Prior to that we were going at least a couple of times a week, 3 or 4 or more. I used to hate it but you get used to it to the point where I don't know what to do with myself if I don't go. You see all the same people there, get into a routine, watch the same shows on the TV while on the bike. I like Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld, but we're usually there earlier and I get stuck watching Friends. Right now I do the treadmill for 1/2 hour, then the bike for at least 15 minutes (ideally I do 1/2 hour on that if I have time) then do  some weights. Lately I've been bringing headphones and listening to music while on the treadmill, the music puts a spring in my step and makes me work harder.

I find that I have to continue to challenge myself physically or else it doesn't do me any good. On the flipside I can't challenge myself too much or else my heart rate will go up and I'm terrified of my ICD firing because of it. It's a balancing act. It would be nice if I could lose some weight with all this excersizing I'm doing but I'm not losing much, about 10 pounds (in 6 months, OMG give me a break, please) and I'm up and down with 2 pounds of it. It's the medication I'm on, it slows the heart rate and metabolism. I can't win. Not yet, I keep hoping.

Pizza Monday.

We go to Planet Fitness. They have Pizza Monday the first Monday of the month. I'll have a slice or two, won't eat the crusts and I stash those in my pocket & bring them home for the babies. The fur babies. Hubby will eat a few pieces of pizza, he loves it and tries to sneak some out for later. I think of it as a day off from cooking.

And the eating, no salt, I try to avoid saturated fat, sugars. I gave up sweets in favor of Vitatops 100 calorie muffin tops, Dole dark chocolate covered fruit, some low sugar yougurts, sugar free pudding, there are a lot of not so bad for you options if you look. I also gave up coffee,  somewhat. I totally gave up Dunkin Donuts coffee, it's too acidy. I do have 1 or 2 Starbucks Frappachinos or Honey Dew Mocha Madness frozen a week, I get a medium, drink 1/2 and save the rest for another day. Sometimes I drink 1/2 and cut the leftovers with almond milk. Yup, I gave up milk, too.

I also had to go on Victoza because before giving up all this sugar shit, my sugar levels were beginning to rise. If I could lose some of this dammed weight they'd probably lower themselves.

I gave up pork. I read some things, saw some photos of pigs and they struck me as being like dogs and I can't eat any animal that's like a pet. I'm better off without it and I really don't miss it. (it wasn't easy though over the Easter holiday and while visiting my in-laws, they put pork in everything, but I did it).

Chips and fast food are not really a problem for me. I'm still loving Triscuits. I now eat the ones with a hint of salt. I'd rather have triscuits than chips. Low salt kettle corn is good, too-as long as I don't eat the whole bag. Fast food, well, it's good when I don't want to cook. I try to get salad instead of burgers and shit. Notice I wrote "try", it's cause I don't always go for the salad, I screw up sometimes.

Trying to give up soda completely. I really don't drink much but one is too much. Hubby was bringing home these little cans of ginger ale from his work which go great with dinner but even though they're small they pack a lot of sugar. He's been bringing them home less often now since I said stop.

We also have quinoa (love it, have to stop myself from eating a mountain of it) and soup, meatless Mondays where I make rice and beans or something not involving meat.

It's all about making choices, healthy ones. I try to. I have to. And today I screwed up royally with the Pizza Monday. Oh well, I'll be on the ball for the rest of the week and longer. I've set some weight goals and keep them in mind when eating and excersizing.

2014/2015

It's been a long hiatus. Yes, I'm going to try to check in here more often. If not for perfume reviews, I will be checking in with my current things, interests, happenings. Partly because my memory is no longer so great. OMG, I hate it. Ask me what I did last month and I really can't pinpoint anything special. I don't really do anything that special but my life is special to me and I don't like forgetting things and having trouble remembering events, but I figure if I write them down and review them it'll get better.  Plus writing in general.You know, like keeping the mind sharp.  Right now I feel like I can't write for shit.

I have a team of doctors: Cardiologist, EP & PCP*

So what's been going on for the past year? Not a whole lot. Last year I attended and graduated from Cardiac Rehab. It was a great place with wonderful people (instructors and other patients) and I left feeling much stronger than before. I still feel stronger that I did when I had my cardiac arrest, but I'm not like I was prior. I think what I've got now is the new normal and it's frustrating. I get so tired easily, all the time. I was out of work most of the year (there are not a lot of shifts available) and when I did work I'd need the next day to recuperate. I went back again yesterday and it was difficult. It was a 12 hour day (I had no choice, there are not many shifts, and we'll probably close for good in the near future) and just working was very tiring for me. My days consist of sleeping late and naps, or laying down for a rest. (plus the gym, more on that later). I cannot take naps or rest at work. I really don't know how I'll be able to work like this at my regular job or a new one. I don't know how I could be on my feet for 8 hours and/or running around a store. Or how well my mind can adapt to all the new things (and remember them) that co-enside with learning a new job. I've been thinking of applying for a disability. I kind of don't want to do that, it strikes me as "giving up". But I don't know how I can be gainfully employed the way I feel. Like gainfully employed as being able to pay bills. I'm running out of things to sell on ebay. I'm in stage 2 congestive heart failure and have an ICD/pacemaker, if that doesn't qualify for a disability, I don't know what does. Part of me doesn't want to give up working, the other part tells me maybe I should enjoy the remainder of my life, be it 5, 10 or 30 more years I have no idea.

In other physical news, I had my period for 7 months. It began in October 2014 and continued up until last week. I got a couple of days off a month, and a many days were just spotting, but there were some rough ones in-between. I went to the gyn and he said I have an ovarian cyst and fibroids. They don't want to put me on hormones or surgery yet because of my heart. They're hoping it will fix itself at some point. My blood counts say I'm not in menopause.

 How about something on the lighter side? We got a new addition to the family, Chico. We lost our beloved Winnie around this time last year. Felicia was heartbroken so we had to get her a partner right away.

When he was still a pup, he's over a year now & bigger than her.

They said he was neutered but he's got quite a sex drive for a fixed dog.

I love my Chico but he drives me crazy at times. He only weighs about 25lbs but it's all muscle and he pushes me and Felicia around. If he wants your attention, he's getting it. I have trouble sitting at the computer, or watching TV, he'll paw at me for attention. I can't handle him on the leash, he's wild and pulls and jumps. I'm really wondering if he was fixed or now. We got him at 2 months, no signs of surgery on his lower area (although I didn't really look thoroughly) but he's aggressive and is always after Felicia I'm wondering about the status of his balls or whatever. I do not see any balls on him, but when he gets going on trying to hump Felicia his lipstick will come out of it's tube and all. He doesn't seem to penetrate her. I don't know. He also chews up everything he can get at, many sneakers over the past year, socks, my reading glasses, pens, and of course a couple of perfume vials. Yes, he's got busy bones, nylabones, plush toys, rubber toys a whole shitload of toys.

* I also have a Gyn and a pulmonologist who I avoid like the plague. He and my PCP are trying to make me use a sleep apnea machine which I don't want to do. I really rather not go to bed with a mask on my face. I have enough trouble sleeping do not want to add equiptment to the mix.

Narciscio Rodriguez for Her, for Me?

Every so often I get cravings for a paticular scent. It might be something I have already or had, decided I didn't like and got rid of, it may be something I took a quick sniff of and now feel like giving it a second chance. When I was in hospital it was Shalimar, my Hubby brought my montre bottle of the cologne to me. I had to use it lightly, you know how hospitals are about perfume.

Lately it's been modern musks that I crave. I think it was brought on by the Victoria Secret Musk that I fell in love with. I have no NR in the house. I had samples at one time but I decided it wasn't for me & gave them away. I didn't want to buy samples just yet. Money is tight, if I can get out of buying something-good. We happened to be in the mall on Black Friday. When the weather is freezing we've been going to the mall at night to walk, I'm suppose to walk daily. I went into that horrid Macys. And there are all the SAs waiting to pounce. Most just said hello, but this one said "Would you like to try Narciscio Rodriguez today?" Wow. I don't think I've ever had one ask me to try exactly what I went in for before.

She had the pink bottle in hand, sprayed it on a ribbon & handed it to me. We started talking and she sprayed another ribbon with the black bottle. After a couple of minutes I didn't feel like I was smelling much of anything so I sprayed my right hand with the pink, left with the black.

Next she goes on to tell me the story behind the bottle, which is.... the reason that it is pink on the inside-rather than on the outside is because NR believes that all women are beautiful from the inside out, and painting the bottle that way made for a beautiful bottle. Something along those lines. That doesn't explain the black bottle, though. The bottles are rather nice, elegant and understated.

Since I seemed to enjoy that story,  she  then tells me the story behind the scent. When NR was in college there was another student that influenced him with her looks, she dressed in the classic style rather than trendy, wore her hair pulled back, she was very elegant and she wore musk. Again, something like that, my memory is terrible lately but that's the jist of it.

I kept thinking of who that elegant musk wearing woman could be. After I was home Carolyn Bessette Kennedy came to mind. He did design her wedding dress, but the age difference wouldn't put them as classmates, plus NR went to Parsons, CBK went to BU.

She was elegant and beautiful, wasn't she? That look of hers, the blond hair and red, red lips was popular around here around the time she got married and her and John-John were in the celebrity papers often. I'd see a lot of women sporting light hair-anything from medium brown to platinum-paired with light make-up and dark lips. Myself included. {I had an accident with a bottle of bleach, all I wanted to do was lighten my hair, and the shit quickly stripped my hair of color, yikes! I went with the flo, it worked out in the end}

 
The actress Hope Davis had that look in "Next Stop Wonderland" which is an independent film that was filmed in the Boston area around the same time frame. I believe it was an independent film, I don't remember it being in wide release, I wanted to see it and it was only playing the art house circuit.

So what about the NR perfume? I dunno, first my right hand, plrayed with the EDP smelled stronger and better than my left, which had the EDT. BUT the EDT was still going strong the next morning! I can't decide. I might get a few samples, no way do I need a full bottle of this. Or maybe I'll give SJP's Lovely another go, they're similar, right?

As for the SA in Macy's, she didn't make a sale with me, although she tried very hard. I wonder if she made up the story or it's something they told her that would help sell more bottles.

What Patchouli Means to Me

My first brush with patchouli occurred sometime in the mid 80's, we were in Boston (Charles Street to be exact) crossing the street and there were some people standing on the island between the streets, they were in the middle of crossing also. They were kids, probably a few years older than us. My boyfriend at the time said, "Ugh, patchouli...." when we got near them, but not loud enough for them to hear. I said "What's patchouli?" which he answered with a Shushhhh, I didn't know who or what he was talking about. He said, "Those hippies over there, they reek of patchouli." And those kids looked kind of dirty, I recall they were all bundled up in stringy like clothes-it was winter and one was wearing a brown suede fringe jacket with an acoustic guitar strapped to his back- so they looked like stringy, frindgy clothes and hair. Not filthy dirty but hip dirty, they had a style, a coolness about them.

It smelled like fresh dirt which the wind wafted it in our direction, and it was strong. Like soil and oil, and planting things in terracotta pots outside in the summer. It did not smell like perfume to me, it was simply an aroma, not something you'd pay a lot of money for out of a store which came all packaged up in a fancy bottle with a sprayer. It was the anti-perfume, the anti-establishment perfume.

A few years later I bought a small, amber bottle of patchouli that smelled just like that dirt smell. Not Spiritual Sky, I had smelled their patchouli and it wasn't the same. This was some, possibly hand-mixed/handmade oil I got out of an occult shop that had shelves full of exotic oils. Along with the patchouli I got a bottle of Mango and a bottle of Sandalwood. The sweetness of the Mango attracted me.  I also acquired a bottle of coconut and some different Musks (Egyptian Musk, Dark Musk, the ones they sell on the sidewalks in NYC). So I had a nice little arsenal of fragrances going there with all those bottles. That kept me satisfied for a few years.

The patchouli laden perfumes of today don't have that soil like scent, well very few do, if even. I don't catch the soil/dirt accord except in one fragrance. It arises when one of my girlfriends wears Angel, and only on her do I smell it. On other people Angel smells sweeter, more cotton candy, more chocolate. On her the patchouli explodes. Must be a body chemistry thing.

I was reminded of the hippie patchouli incident a couple of days ago when I had the dogs out for a walk. One of the neighbors had recently raked up leaves (or neatened up their ground area, their house is on a hill so its not a lawn) and the rake had exposed all the semi-moist dirt, with little chunks of grass remaining. My dog thought that would be a great place to sniff around or go pee-pee so I had to pause there and the scent hit me. My mind wandered off and back to 30 years or so ago, remembering those frindged hippies and their patchouli. I don't even know if the dog did her business there or not, I was daydreaming of patchouli.

Imposter Perfumes

I get a kick out of the names of the Lady Gaga imposter perfumes, fakes, whatever you'd call them. "Crazy Lady" takes the cake for names. Can you imagine someone asking what you're wearing and having to give them that answer? If you're truthful.  Or "Monster Lady" which I saw the other day in C.W. Price. (I can't remember where I saw Crazy Lady, it was a while ago.) These imposter Lady Gagas seem to be everywhere fakes are sold,  it must be a popular perfume. The kiddies whose parents can't afford or refuse to buy the genuine Lady G must love it, since it gives them a chance to own something close to what they might not be able to afford otherwise.

Have you ever bought an imposter perfume? I have, waaay back in the day. I recall buying a bottle (or was it a can?) of one of those "If you love CK One, you'll love OK Numero Uno " or whatever it was called. My girlfriend at work wore it and I got turned onto it from her. I also liked the fact that it was unisex, it felt kind of edgy to wear a potentially man's fragrance. Plus it was "It's so clean smelling" we'd say. It was different at the time. Ugh. If we only know we'd all be bombarded by "Clean" over the next 20 years. "Clean" got tiring, boring. At the time I didn't want to pay $50 or more to smell clean.  I also didn't have a lot of disposable income.  I still don't have the disposable income but I find a way to work a Lutens or Guerlain into the budget from time to time.

If I really loved CK one I would have bought the real deal at full retail price. Back then I ponied up few times and paid for an expensive perfume. Guerlain's Mahora was one of them. I got a whiff from a magazine and there was nothing in the world like it, I HAD to have it. I also had to travel all over town to find it! Filene's and Jordan Marsh (or was it Macy's by then?) didn't carry it and they pointed me in the direction of either Neiman Marcus or Saks Fifth Avenue, where I went and bought it, I think it was around $60-$80, somewhere in that ballpark. They were very generous with the samples when I bought it, I got a few carded samples of probably JPG, which I seemed to get every time I made a purchase, and they also gave me about 3 or 4 minis of Mahora. I had enough Mahora I gave a couple of the minis to my sister in law. (Yeah, I wish I didn't do that now....)

Actually, if you're itching for Lady Gaga perfume and are short on cash, some of the TJ Maxx around here have it @ about $15 for a 1.7 oz. Or you can get the Lady Gaga Singing Toothbrush which is in the "as seen on TV" aisle of Wallgreens.

Victoria's Secret No.1 Feathered Musk

Why this? Somehow or somewhere I read a review of this stuff which led me to seek it out. I think that's how it happened. Normally I don't chase after Musks (unless a lot of peeps describe them as "dirty" and "filthy" then I get curious) Chasing after a Victoria's Secret Perfume? Very rare. The last perfume I liked and owned from them was Halo. Released in 2000, Halo has: top notes of poinsettia, fig leaf, freesia and tiare flower; middle notes are orchid, pepper and vanilla; base note is sandalwood. Back then I fit into the wardrobe offerings of Victoria's Secret so I probably stumbled across Halo while buying some over priced panties.

This feathered Musk. What is a feathered musk? Musk from a bird? Please. And if anyone asks I'll say I'm wearing something else. No way in He// am I admitting to wearing something from VS. Anyhoo, this is a real surprise from VS. An actual perfume that's not all candy/vanilla/flowers/laundry scent. No. 1 develops on the skin and takes twists and turns along the way.

It starts off with something citrus, lime? Bergamot? No citrus is listed in the notes but I smell something zingy. Zingy with hints of coconut and chocolate. I'm not the only one smelling coconut, my husband smelled it, too.
The chocolate is a milk chocolate, not the deep dark chocolate found in Borneo or Coromandel. It isn't along the lines of Elmer's Chocolates (the cheapest, most inferior chocolates that show up on the shelves around Easter, ewww.) but more along the lines of Hersheys. Then it turns tobacco, cherry pipe tobacco, kind of like By Kilian's Back to Black, if I'm remembering the scent correctly. Very strong cherry tobacco. A couple of days ago I was wearing No.1, stepped out of the car and into the cold and I got a blast of cherry tobacco in the freezing cold.  Otherwise it stays close to the skin, it's light and unfortunately doesn't last long. I wind up reapplying this a couple of times a day, several sprays, too. I like to get whiffs from my perfume throughout the day, I don't from this, it's nose-to-skin after a couple of hours. If I could get the body cream that would create some silliage, I can't find it anywhere, it's no longer on the store shelves and not much is on the bay or amazon, mostly the perfumes & body spray are up for sale. Maybe when Vicky has the semi-annual sale, but by the time that rolls around I'll be onto the next big thing.

I've been wearing this for over a week straight. Unusual for me, and I didn't wear anything special on Sunday. Usually I'll wear something, uh, elegant and special and/or different on Sundays, like Joy, or I'll test drive something traditional, it depends on how I feel when I get up. Right now I feel like seeking out my Back to Black sample, I know I have several stashed here somewhere. It really helps when organizing perfumes if I put them in alphabetical order by house, not name. I was in the process of doing that but haven't finished.

Fumes and Fumes

Since I had my cardiac arrest I have not smoked a cigarette. September 10th to November 4th, equals almost 2 months so I'd like to think all the smoke residue or whatever you'd call it is gone from my lungs and inside of my nose. They say when you quit smoking everything tastes and smells better. Well, food tasted fantastic when I smoked so no issues there. It tastes just as fine now as it did then, except the after taste of it lingers longer than it did when I smoked-cause I'd always have a nice smoke after a wonderful meal, and after an ordinary meal, too. Gosh, I miss smoking.

It's the ritual of it that I miss the most. Get on the phone, have a cigarette, take the dogs out for a walk & have a cigarette, escape from work for a few mins & have a cig, The "after Thanksgiving dinner" cigarette is one of the memorable ones, so is the after Christmas and Easter dinner ones, and lets not forget the after a piece of birthday cake ones, too. And of course the after sex smokes, smoked in the bathroom or kitchen because Hubby hates smoking. Where was I going with this? Oh, the smelling part. Yes, perfume seems to smell no different now that I no longer smoke. I expected to be blown away by the stronger scents but it hasn't happened. Except for when I was at the pharmacy counter at Wallygreens and someone around had heavy handily applied Angel and it nearly knocked me out. It's strange, I've worn Angel since I came home from the hospital (Angel Les Parfums de Cuir) and it didn't bother me. The Angel behind the pharmacy counter blew me away, it kind of made me sick.

 Editing to add: Geeze I write these posts and leave 'em in draft. I've always had trouble finishing things. ADD in action here. Here we are 2 weeks later and I'm just going to hit publish, otherwise it'll sit in draft along with everything else that I haven't fully gathered my thoughts over.